You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What a fucking waste of an outfit
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
