So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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