If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
