I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
