im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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