with your own penis?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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