I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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