Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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