You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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