When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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