Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
