the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
