Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
