just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
