So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
