How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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