They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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