help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
