whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
