also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
