i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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