the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
