You made me cry and you don't even care
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
