marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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