you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
