He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
