Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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