that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
