i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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