She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize