I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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