Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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