She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
