I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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