Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
