yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
