me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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