She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize