Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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