butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It's like God shit irony all over that family
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
