if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
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