# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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