Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we're making bets on your personal life
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
