Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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