VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
