I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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