just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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