FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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