Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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