I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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