Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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