I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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