walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
